Once upon a time, there was a little girl, whose parents told her when she grew up she could be anything she wanted to be.

Today, she sits in front of a computer monitor all day long and types things that are not all that interesting to her. She doesn't get paid very well for that either.

As she sits there, she wonders, how all those years of education could lead her to that very spot. Doing really meaningless stuff. And then she looked out of the window and thinks about all those other people, sitting in front of their computers, and wondered if they were bored too. She wondered how many people wondered the same thing. And if they did, why they were like her, and just sitting there and wondering.

Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore

It's official. Western Culture has finally gone through the looking glass. I'm calling it now.

I am still obsessed with market economics. Reading, reeling...

And of course I have been following the Daily Show, and his smack down of MSNBC. Basically, he blames the network for being complicit in the crisis. Basically, instead of investigative reporting, "fair and balanced", the network became cheerleaders towards the irresponsible and out of control greed that has lead to the situation we are all in now. The reporters would have had enough expertise to say "Having a Debt/Capital in excess of 8/1 is dangerous. AIG had a ratio of 35/1. Simply put, for ever dollar they had in cash, they had 35 dollars in loans. (or is it debt/liquidity...still have not learned the language)

Okay, so the other night John Stewart basically lectured on the Daily Show about the networks responsibility to Joe/Jane Public.

I was reading my new source for market news The Market Ticker
and I find this comment in the forums:

"I sent a copy to info-at-thedailyshow-dot-com for you. "
and
"Send Jon Stewart a copy - he may be the only media figure to air it. He might even make a special show just around the most talked about topic of these days. "

(referring to THIS post)

Since when did the Daily Show become the voice for justice for the everyday bloke?

Does anyone find that really really weird?

Oops she started a rant

I'm still flat lining - with regards to inspiration or motivation. But I thought I would give this a whirl, an injection of atropine so to speak. And thus I have proven that you can learn something by watching ER.

I'll let you in on what I have been obsessing about lately, and thus reveal how utterly odd and geeky I am. First, in order to appreciate how odd, I need you to know this. I cannot balance a chequebook. I don't really budget, I just have this intuition about what I can spend and what needs to get paid. I don't invest. I don't contribute to a pension plan. (I don't have an investment plan with my work - cos they are lame). I don't have a savings account. I basically live pay cheque to pay cheque.

I have debt, which I slowly pay off. I do understand the racket of making minimum only payments. I'd also like to take the opportunity to extend my gratitude to Eric, who makes this family viable economically. I have just proven in 7 lines (in this editor!) how utterly incapable I am.

When I lived in Korea I used to keep my money on a shelf. Stacks of money. Eric can attest to that. I was happy with that arrangement.

So, for the past 2 weeks, I have been inhaling economics 101. This whole business of economic crisis and bail-outs. Are we in a recession or depression? And does anyone really know? How did we get here in the first place? I mean, do people on the trading floor just up and decide I am going to sell off and create a mess? Why did everyone's investments loose 40% of their value?

That's what I have been figuring out. And guess what everyone! The old saying is true. Greed does make you stupid. Securitization is like the marijuana of economic collapses. A gateway drug. Initially, pretty innocuous, but that leads you down the road to the hard core, collateralized debt obligations (CDOS) and Credit default Swaps (CDS). By 2006, most bankers and financiers were hardcore addicts.
Today, the entire system is going through an intense detox. We are now experiencing the wonderful spasms of the dts.

Did you know that AIG basically mortgaged its own entire capital base...twice. And in the States, there are no checks and balances to keep that from shitting all over the floor. Imagine mortgaging the value of your home...twice. Eventually, your payments will be unbearable, and of course, at some point, what you would be required to pay out, will far exceed your income. In a word, you'd be fucked. At some point, pushing a shopping cart down alleyways and drinking pinesol.
In AIG's case, exces will be paid in the millions, be giving millions of American taxpayer dollars to their fatcat friends at Goldman Sachs and Deutsche Bank.

So, my rant is going to turn into a preach.

Please, take some time to find out what is happening to the economy. We all contribute to it. This system is human created, and we have the power to make it better, make it more equitable and just. (Having 1% own 90% of the wealth, is not, in my opinion, just). You don't need to read the Wall Street Journal. Read whatever interests you, but get engaged. I think if enough people were aware of the level of theft, dishonesty, greed and incompetence that contributed to the situation we are in today, we could put enough pressure to make it stop. So learn. And share what you have learned to your friend.

We all take time away from the people we love, to give it to companies big and small, so we can purchase food, education and save to make our lives comfortable when we get old and sick. That money has been borrowed away and spent. The largest corporations and multinationals are broke. Think about the word bailout. When you are bailing a boat, you are not addressing the root of the problem.

If you don't know where to start, and frankly not all that interested in learning about the economy (its fucking boring!) - start with PBS

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/meltdown/view/

(Someone take this soapbox, please!)

Brain Dead

Must be the winter-blahs. Have not felt like writing much. I get in these moods.

Please be patient

Family night

I'm going to give Monday at the Movies a little vacation. I like to share a documentary that has recently challenged me to flex my thought muscle, or at least a topic that is somewhat relevant to my circumstances. This week, bah, nothing. So instead of faking it, I thought I'd like say fuck it. I mean, it is my website after all.

So picture this. A small futon-sofa. On it you can see a 41 year old man, an 8 yr old, a 6 yr old a 10 year old and a 38 yr old woman wielding a joystick. Oh yeah, the cat was there too. Imagine an orange fluffy cat there too. Everyone is staring at a flat screen tv. Except for maybe the cat. The cat is licking his ass or something.

Now listen closely, this is what you will be able to hear

"Go South! Look in that vase! Probe it!"
"No no no no! Don't cast shadow, he has better magic than that!"
"Why do all the women have such big boobs? And why don't they jiggle?"
"Just press the button when the two circles meet! No not like that!"
"Did you check over there? What about in that place?"
"I don't want to put Cooke in the formation, Ming has composite magic"



Hey! Monday at the movies!

Of course we all read Japanese. That's how amazingly cool we are. And yes, that is my nose growing...

Evil thoughts.

Aidan and I were strolling down the mall, on our way out, when I heard it.
"Sounds like some kind of animal", I said to him.
Then the crowd parted and the source of the guttural screaming was revealed. A toddler, stiffened, arms and legs out straight and in the throes of a primal scream session. Wow. I remember those days. I was that mother. I summoned some compassion, since I remember that feeling of wanting to disappear, or at the very least having the ill tempered child disappear. Oh I remember it well.

And the worst of all. I felt joy. That it wasn't me.

There is a special space in the nine realms of hell for me.

Did the Buddha care about dust bunnies?

I have come to the conclusion that being diligent with housework, is an inherited trait. Suffice to say, I am just a carrier. My grandmother was what you call a neat-freak. The smell of Javex reminds me of her. She ironed her underwear, she ironed her facecloths and bras! I always wondered why she kept dogs, because she was forever muttering about their hair. But man, could she wield a vacuum cleaner. My mother inherited this gene too. Childhood was marked with frequent naggings. Eventually I came to an age where I was allowed to keep my mess contained in my room. I did not mind mess and untidiness. I guess by virtue of osmosis, I could not much tolerate rotting food or garbage. If I wanted to go visit (or worse) sleepover at a friends house, my mother always wanted to know how clean the house was. If you were 13 years old, how would you find out? Even at that age, its a tough issue to field out. How was I supposed to find out without totally offending the other person?

And that promise, when you're growing up, "When you get old enough to own your own place you can be as messy as you want". Well, that's a total lie. Whatever you do, never say this to your children, for they will live in utter disappointment.

I resist my nature at all times. For one thing, linking housekeeping habits with core morality has been driven deep within my psyche. I could not let my kids live in a dump. That would be wrong. I'm not a freak. I can leave dishes in the sink for over 24 hours before I get the motivation to put them in the dishwasher. I can step over a glop on the floor more than 10 times before I get the inclination to clean it up. What is the motivator? Guilt. Dirt = Bad person. Who the fuck came up with that? I mean, at one point in time, you could smell Paris on approach. When did we get freaky about this.

Good lord


Do you have a shame cycle when it comes to housework?

Monday at the Movies: Volume 5

This series of films is one of the most exciting documentaries that I have seen in a long time. Its called A Century of Self, and connects the rise of psychoanalytic theory with marketing and advertising, and also how psychoanalysis and Freudian theory have profoundly affected the democratic process. It's fascinating!

Have you ever wondered why you have to add to eggs to cake mix? No? Well, there is a very particular reason. Its to help you feel better about serving an instant cake.
Know how smoking became interlinked with women's lib? Better yet, how it became socially acceptable, when being a liberated woman was not at that point in time, a socially acceptable thing.

And were you aware that the evolution of marketing, advertising and public relations began with Freud's nephew?

Be sure to check out all four episodes, and yes there are four. I am only posting the first. They are all equally fascinating. Anyway, now that I have seen them all, I somewhat feel regretful that I paid no attention to psychology when I was in University. I found the intro level stuff so DULL, and plus, psych always attracted the pretty blonde good girls, and I hung out with the goth types in religious studies and anthropology. Now, I wished I had paid a bit of attention.

So, tell me about your mother, was she shaped like a phallus?

Cursive's Curse

A few weeks ago, I read this scrawling note in Owen's agenda. Each kid has a day planner - homework, notes and helpful hints on becoming a model student (what-evah!)
The note said that Owen is not writing his homework down, and therefore not bringing it home. This prompted a letter to the teacher, since this is an issue we have been dealing with since October. Now I know why moms have the pretension to nag. Its to help keep everyone else off their backs. So, I reminded and reminded. We went over the assignments that he did remember to write down..and I asked him about one assignment, and he said "I am not too sure, I can't read my teacher's writing". So a meeting was scheduled with the teacher and other miscellaneous support staff, so I mentioned this. Turns out that teaching cursive writing is no longer in the curriculum. Too many other important goals to cover.

This is not good news is it? Doesn't our handwriting say something about the kind of personality we project? (Is there not a whole industry now on handwriting analysis). We like to make fun of Lisa's loopy L's and little heart over the "i"... but thats because she used to listen to New Kids on the Block and wears alot of pink. And then there is the impossible scratches your doctor or professor makes, which somehow indicates an air of superiority or intelligence (most often both). The art of penmanship a lost talent to the masses? That so sucks! Do people who were never taught how to write, end up teaching themselves, or are they doomed to a life of printing? What about developing that unique signature for all the official documentation? Will forgery suddenly become easier?

So what are your thoughts? Should cursive writing be taught in school, or is it an skill becoming obsolete?

Monday at the Movies: Volume 4

So today, I've decided to go a bit lighter. Well, kinda sorta. Enough of the heavy questions about capitalism and the convoluted meanderings of a paranoid conspiracy theorist...for now...

So, tonight, marks the first official video about Buddhism. It's about time. I've chosen this one in particular because it is relevant to issues I have been thinking about - in regards to Harry, in particular. I watched it through yesterday, and I felt very clean after, it was like lemongrass. I think Buddhists make a wrong impression. They are often thought of as the quiet bald ones in the corner who don't say much, or have very enigmatic responses. "So how are you doing?", you ask and the stereotypical bald Buddhist chortles in response "Colourless green ideas sleep furiously!"

This evening's showing is stereotypical in some ways. Yes, the speaker is bald, and a Buddhist and yes, wearing robes. I have all my hair and I am wearing jeans...point?
However, she's a spitfire. I love her. She calls you darling, and says "Finding the delight in eating your own vomit". Now that is something I can sink my teeth into!
So, get beyond her lack of hair and just listen to her for a bit.

And how cool would it be to work for Google? They have solar panels and Buddhists over for tea.

Storytelling

This parenting thing never gets easier does it? At one point in time, all I had to do was ensure they were clean and fed, through a foggy haze of sleep deprivation. Now I am dealing with this self-esteem thing. My theory is this - first you have to feel good in your own skin before you can start to admit that the whole business of self definition is an elaborate form of storytelling. I suppose I was a little naive to think that encouragement, praising achievements big and small, and helping the kids experience the ramifications of their follies would be enough. Guess what... its NOT. Shit.

So, Harry has been going through a period of self-loathing. He's a bit impatient. He knows perfection and wants it immediately. He knows what he wants to draw, and if he can't do it on the first attempt, he gets mad at himself. I've heard him call himself stupid. Explaining practice is important, and emphasizing that the process is more important, and often more fun than the product, is not quite sinking in. Last week, after becoming frustrated to tears that he could not remember his multiplication tables, we had a little chat. The regular script I pull out, you know about trying your best, you can do it! Yadda Yadda, just was not working. It had no meaning. And I can appreciate why.

So I decided to tackle the self-loathing thing. Oh self-loathing is an old friend of mine. We know each other well. Once I really started to work with this notion, that "I" am a story I tell to myself, and more importantly, I control that story, things really began making sense to me. This is where the fun began really. Too bad I waited thirty years to find out, but I digress.

So I explained to him that he needed to start making friends with himself. I asked him if he would get angry and frustrated at his friend if they made a mistake in their math. Of course, not. Then why do you do it to yourself? After a bit of chat, I think it started to sink in.

I wish it were as perfect as what they tell us on television. I mean, if this were an episode, then lesson learned! I could brush my hands and look forward to the next season.

Wait until he finds out that his self identity is an elaborate piece of storytelling. Until then, its time to focus on compassion.

The PowerPoint Princess

Part of my job involves creating speeches for my supervisors. Sometimes I will receive the semblance of a topic (say for example...its about The English Language...) or other times, its a bit more precise. I've become the go to gal for all things speech related. I structure the talk, create the visuals for it (for I loathe bullet points), make the notes and create a compendium of background research. It never really bothers me that I never get the credit, since it does take some skill to digest everything and then whing it in front of a potential client or a room full at a conference. Our government wanted us to train their folk on how I do it. That was before the economy tanked. ***loud sigh***

This is what I have been up to at work lately. Its the best part of my job. I also get to spend hours and hours of my day on Flickr and other such site finding the perfect image. Flickr is very safe for work as well. But did you know...

If you searched for "medical supplies" on Flickr, you'll find images of old guys in diapers? Of the kink sort. I felt very violated on that day. Also, if you look for CD, you'll get some hot tranny action.

Free Therapy

Alas alack. Not much to say today. Oh dear oh dear. One of my professors once told me that writing, even if it was the same word, was better than writing nothing. So, today, you shall have stream of consciousness, internet.

Yesterday, Eric and I went to see a comedy show. Hilarious! I heartily recommend laugh therapy. I highly recommend Jeremy Hotz or you can visit him home page here...Free therapy from me >>grin<<
I've never been to a comedy show before. My cheeks hurt today.

About 5 years ago, Eric was hung over. Well, he's been this way plenty of times since, but on this particular occasion, he was forced to drive an hour so we could go visit my mother with the kids. So, on the way there, I was listening to the CBC, and they played this skit by Jeremy Hotz. Eric and I laughed so hard. I was in tears, and he kept saying "Om my god..this HURTS" between laughs. We never forgot that. A couple weeks ago, Eric burst in the house and said "Guess who is coming to Saint John!"

And then we purchased our online tickets.

Monday at the Movies: Volume 3

Okay, so I am going to throw a real whack job your way. Evidence of Revision is an interesting series. Its like a decoupage of video that is already out there, wrapped within one bigger idea. This one, really strokes my conspiracy g-spot. In this documentary, the film-makers (or editors) start with the Robert Kennedy Assassination, and link Sirhan Sirhan to a covert CIA program called MKUltra. This was a program, apparently, aimed at achieving mind control. (I think the CIA just needs to speak with FoxNews, because I think they have cornered the market on Mind Control.) And THEN, the documentary swerves to Bill Kurtis of Investigative Reports. Apparently, Jonestown was a CIA MKUltra mindcontrol experiment that went horribly wrong. Or did it succeed? I'll have to watch this again to get the gist...was the mass murder supposed to happen?

I love to use the term "drink the Kool-aid". For example, my husband, the fundamentalist atheist claims that anyone who believes in organized religion is someone willing to drink the kool-aid. I am not saying this as a point for debate, but rather as a grammatical example. (See The Urban Dictionary). I use the term frequently in many contexts (outside of religion). So, now that I have seen this segment of Evidence of Revision, I have to wonder about this little pop culture saying. I mean, I think the situation was far different than the collective suicide by the Heavens Gate folk. I mean, probably a majority of the folk were forced to drink the kool-aid. Which is so not cool.

Evidence of Revision: RFK, MKUltra and Jonestown

Side Effects

I think I mentioned briefly that I quit smoking at the beginning of January. I've been using the nicotine patch, and so far, I have not been smoking. I've replaced the habit with copious amounts of tea. Vanilla black tea in the morning, a cup of white pear tea, carob chai, in the evening I switch to herbal - cinnamon, cherry, peach, raspberry, mandarin..As I read the program booklet with the patch, I notice that "vivid dreams" are a common side effect. I have not rented a movie since I quit. Wow. It's amazing what your consciousness throws at you, randomly, but able to piece it together in a mind bending narrative. There was the dream when I was breastfeeding a cat, or the one where I took the car trip to Vancouver and stopped for a while in Calgary. I was in the car with a couple of guys I used to party with when I was in university, and Aidan. Last night I was walking along a beautiful beach, pulling Aidan in a sled, on the way to the store, and I stopped and chatted with Ben Affleck and Jennifer. Sometimes the dreams, can be unsettling. I had worms...in my scalp, or the time when the taliban attacked Nova Scotia. The side-effects could be far worse, say itchy feet.

Most of you will be very encouraging and glad that I've taken this step for the 5th or the 6th time. I hope this is the last time. I will say, smoking is a companion I will sorely miss, despite the horrible ramifications. There is nothing better than a warm cup of coffee and lighting up, inhaling languidly and taking a sip. Ahh. There is nothing better than pulling your hair out in stress, and lighting up. I'm not going to deny my love affair with smoking. Some love affairs, as we all know, no matter how seductive, are just plain old bad for you.

I can't say I spent a lot of money a month smoking. 50 dollars maybe? But what I noticed, is that I don't need to go to the store. When I went to buy smokes, I'd usually buy other things, that I did not necessarily need. So, this is where I am noticing my cost savings. So, in celebration, I bought some new shoes. Really cute Mary Jane's with a wedge heel. These are side effects, I like to manage.

The Big Boy Bed

We've never had much luck getting Aidan to sleep in his own bed. It started, well, when we moved him from the crib to the bed. We moved to our new house almost two years ago. I thought it would be a good time to really encourage the sleep-in-your-own-bed concept. We even got Thomas bedding! And sheets! I even made lovely Thomas prints for his wall. I think that lasted 2 nightd. And then he would sleep on the couch (his bedroom is just off the livingroom). Because the late night TV area is elsewhere, this sort of worked.

I can't remember when the next arrangement evolved. I think it went like this. Aidan would fall asleep on the couch, we would carry him to his bed, he would get up a few hours later and crawl in bed with us. And because of the cramped quarters, I would end up sleeping in Aidan's bed. And eventually, we dropped the sofa-Aidan bed facade, and when it was time for bed, we'd just put him to bed in our bed. And I would go to sleep in his room.

This is when I learned that I slept much better in Aidan's bed. The mattress is more firm, and I have more room to move. A queen sized bed is not 2 single beds.

So, someone gave Eric a TV. And we did some switcheroo and Aidan got one in his room. We're not huge TV consumers, so I'm down with that. Then Aidan started moving back in to his bed. Even went to sleep in it. I've been sleeping in my former spot. Last night I went to crawl in bed after the three hour Lost phantasmagorica and Eric mumbled..."Aidan here". So I went to my other spot. I've had the bed sleep all week.

I am imagining that Eric and I will eventually upgrade to a mattress that will not cause lower back and hip pain...I am wondering which will come first, the Aidan moves to his own room on his own...or the new mattress purchase

Capitalism is the opiate of the people

Many thanks to The Blonde Duck. You got me thinking. And, there is nothing better than getting me thinking. Cheap hobby. Can be dangerous. Always wear a helmet.

She got me thinking about basic human nature. Do we create the systems we inhabit because of our inherent qualities, or are we profoundly shaped by the systems we inhabit, because we usually forget we have the intelligence and ingenuity to change them when they stop working for us (like when we work for them...sound familiar anyone?)

I have not written much about Buddhism as of late. It's not because of neglect, I'm just like that. I have no desire to inspire or convert. It's not my badge of honor, but something that has profoundly given me a way in which to filter my big picture questions. Okay, so I like to wear the badge a little bit. It's how I want to be judged. Because in the world of the internet, we all employ a little bit of marketing here and there. I'm okay with that, just as long as I don't take myself to seriously.

So, back to the original point. I fundamentally believe that in all people is basic goodness. We all suffer, and to a large extent create the conditions for our suffering. It is my understanding that we all are fundamentally basic goodness, it connects and binds us to each other. At the same time, our institutions - whether education, political, social and economic create categories in which we begin to define ourselves. The good student, the liberal, the dissident, the mother and the middle-class wage earner. I cannot express how lovely it is, to not feel so completely tied and bound to these definitions - all the time. Hey, I have my hang-ups and my own angst, but, at the end of the day, to seek refuge in those ultimate questions, feels as good as grandmas quilt and a nice steaming cup of tea.

Monday at the Movies: Volume 2

This train of thought started with an innocent conversation a few months ago. One of my coworkers has a degree in philosophy, so I asked her "I wonder what big idea is being challenged at the moment?" All the big ones seem to have been queried ad infinitum. What is truth? What is knowledge? What is meaning? What is this all about?

And then as the stock market suddenly turned south, I turned to her and said, "You know, no one seems to really question free market capitalism, I think its about time". And I do. I mean, think about it, in the "west" we have sufficiently attacked and attempted to change communism, marxism, tyranny, dictatorships...I mean most of these systems (both political and economic...they tend to be sides of a coin) are thought of as abominations, or at the very least, a system that needs to make way for progress. Well if we are such fans of progress, what's beyond capitalism (free-market or tightly regulated)? So we're on this roller coaster - been on it for a while - the market goes uuuupppp and dooown. People suffer, regardless. Right now, the pain is just more acute, and of course we are helped along by our friends the media. But is there a system of exchange that is more fair? Of course, this could be a massive discussion. One I plan to pick up from time to time. No one wants to talk about the economy, because its boring, right?

I am thinking that there is a choice here. If enough people got together to choose, then the people holding all the cookies would no longer be the school yard bullies. We blame the rich and greedy investment traders and billionaires. But who gave them all the power? Their money? No, our quiet, docile and complacent acceptance that money=power. Its just an idea. A great BIG idea, but the nice thing about ideas, is that we can get new ones. Slavery was once an idea.

So, Monday at the movies has proven to be the least popular sort of posting here on Big Picture. Well, that's just not going to phase me, in the least. I know, who has time to watch the computer? Well, this is worth watching. Its long, I'll warn you. But it begins a very good conversation.

I don't know very much about the maker of this documentary. I am choosing to show Zeitgeist Addendum, instead of Zeitgeist. (Part 2 and Part 1 respectively.) I'll show part 1 eventually, save that one tucked in my pocket for a rainy day. Please don't think I accept everything I see at face value. I like to watch things that make me think MORE. And this one did just that.

Zeitgeist Addendum

The Quantum of me = ?

What happened to my week? Ah, that's what happens when you are the hamster on the wheel of work. What kept me interested this week? Quantum Physics...again. Must be my new kick. They (the ones who can do the actual calculations) - are tweaking the big bang theory. See, theorists are puzzled at what was going on before the universe goes pop! Apparently, it would be a singularity of infinite gravity and mass. But the current equations say that such is impossible. Anyway, now the new theory is the Big Bounce. A universe collapses toward a singularity and just before it does, pop! Another universe forms out of the old. And on this heartbeat goes until cosmologists determine otherwise. This will keep the museum of creation science scratching their heads for a while.

So, they say that the universe if filled with infinite possibilities (thanks to string theory) Is it possible to run out of ideas, because I think I have. I've been trying to redesign my bloggy...new masthead, new layout. I have the structure done...but no revelations are going pop! with regard to the masthead.

I have to buy groceries this week. My urges say that I would like some interesting food for dinner eating. But so far, nothing interesting comes to mind.

And of course there is working...what the hell am I going to do with myself there?

I need something akin to a gas bar where I can fill-er-up with some new ideas. Sorry folks, I don't drink. I think that only worked for James Joyce. Timothy Leary's method has also been used (many moons past) and I don't think I would be a very good role model for the boys. (But they would have something really fascinating to tell their shrink in later years...something far more interesting than "my mother just ran out of ideas one day.")

Nothing like a little insanity with your Antiques Roadshow

So last night, I was curled up on the sofa, and NOT watching the internet for a change. It was Monday. Antiques Roadshow night. About halfway through, my eyes were lolling shut, drifting into a velvety sleep, when Aidan pops over, crying. I sat up, just a little disoriented. He had Eric's cell phone. And he was crying. I asked what was wrong. "I called 911"

"You did what?"

Then he cried harder and ran to bed. I sat there for a minute to digest just what had occurred. And then I thought about the ramifications of what had just happened. Was my house going to be surrounded by a SWAT team? The fire brigade? Eric was at the Buffalo lodge - his order of Buffaloes meets every Monday for a curling bonispiel, and I wouldn't be in the least bit surprised that they wore the blue fuzzy hats. Then I heard Aidan whaling. So I went to see him, and of course try to create some profound teachable moment that the LDS Church could proudly film for one of their commercials.

"Aidan, you call 911 when you need to call the police, like when you are in trouble, or if you need a fireman if there is a fire."

"Mom! Don't be silly! I don't need the POLICE"
And then he added "I needed a BANDAID"

I bit my lip. I think I coughed instead of laughed. And then Eric's cell phone rang.

It was a very nice lady from 911, who told me she had a very nice conversation with Aidan who is 6 years old. Of course, I was mortified. She also let me know that he needed a band-aid, and wanted to make sure that everything was okay. I assured her that the situation was under control. She also urged me not to get angry at him, because she did not want him to be afraid to call in case he ever *really* needed to. I think I was mortified, because I heard these rumors that people get charged these huge fines for calling 911 inappropriately.

Nothing like a little insanity with your Antiques Roadshow.