So, I have not found a balance between working and blogging yet. I work on the computer all day long, and the thought of coming back in the evening has lost all its appeal. Thats too bad. I also have not had the balls to blog at work, which is probably a good idea.
I started training on this new program this week. Its an online course, and I have a coach somewhere in another time zone. I'm usually not one to shy away from learning new things, but a little dark cloud seems to hang over this experience. I have not played student for a long long time, and it became apparent how I have become so accustomed to doing things in the way that I do things. Having to work though something in someone else's method and order has been the challenge. Facing a time limit also makes learning significantly less fun. The first day I was stuck sideways with confusion. And just when it started to get easy, WHAM! they stick the hardest most complicated tutorial (I was later told) at the beginning of the program. At the time, I thought the complication factor would just work from there, and could not imagine the complexity I would be faced with in the coming tutorials. Anyway, it did not go in that direction. That was the first day. On the second day, I read the instructions, go to page X in the manual and follow the instructions, do the exercise yada yada. Well, the instructors manual was updated while the tutorial was not. So by the time I was in contact with the coach, a couple hours had passed and I did not get much accomplished. Then I would have to open word documents, and word would crash. Then I would submit my work and the submit button wouldnt work (which was later blamed on me, since the problem could not get duplicated ). Sometimes I would make HUGE mistakes and then other times I think I have made a huge mistake where I made none at all. What appears to be simple has these complicated nuances, and what appears challenging turns out to be so simple that my cheeks burn in embarassment. I keep looking for predictability and certainty and each time I think I have found it, I am thrown in the opposite direction.
I remember when I was teaching simple web design to my students and there would be a handful would seemed to fall into similiar realms of snafu. And every possible problem seemed to happen to the same student. Sometimes it would be their mistake, other times server errors and what not. Some students would just give up. I would have this admiration for those who just roll with the punches. I realize I want to be the latter sort. So, my palms might get sweaty and I feel sometimes that I am probably the most technically challenged student that has ever signed up for this training...but I stick with it. Sounds all goody goody. But I have been seening that in this process is a the bigger lesson. You know, the one about suffering coming from wanting stability. So far, I might not have found the dharma by cleaning toilets, but it certainly does manifest in my techie training...
16 hours ago