Thursday, September 28, 2006

Deli-CAT Matters

The Brothers du Fluffe, or as we know them, Willie-Woo and Paddy-kins (see their pictures here) had their great transformation today. We call it being "neutered" or "fixed", but tell any man about the procedure and you will see him casually cross his legs. Of course we are responsible pet owners despite the Brothers du Fluffe scratching in the neighbours pile of dirt. Much to my neighbors shagrin and annoyance. (That is another story, although I wish I could confine the neighbor to his house, it is unfortunate for us that the puddies now unleash their young energy about the house...)

Explaining the procedure to the boys has been a delicate operation.
"I'm taking the Kitties to the dr tomorrow, for an operation".
"Are they going to see Dr. S?" Dr S. being our family doctor. Harry is quite familiar with her and her needles.
"No, they are going to see an animal doctor, a veterinarian"
"Are they sick?"
"No, they are going to have an operation." Here it comes. It's unavoidable.
"What's an operation?"
So I explained surgery.
"Why?" Was the logical response to my over simplified explaination.
"They are going to get fixed" Okay, I admit, I am trying to dodge the issue.
"Are they broken?"
Logical question.
"They are going to get neutered so they do not run away and make more kittens."
Of course Owen chimes in and pleads to let Willie and Paddy have kittens. Of course I correct him, in this minefield of a conversation, to straighten out the fact that boy kitties help girl kitties have babies. I held my breath. We are still waiting for all the right questions to fall into place about reproduction.
So Harry asks "What's surgery?"
He usually asks if he did not work it out the first time.
I bit the bullet. "They are having their testicles removed"
Sounds so wrong, but again, I do what Bob Barker tells me...
"Is the Doctor going to cut Willie and Paddie?"
"A little bit"
"Are their feet going to be stuck together?"
And he demonstrated. He sat in an almost lotus position and put the pads of his feet together. My mind was thinking he had seen some image of a woman in stir-ups, since that is what his posture first inspired in my own head.
"And then are they going to cut them like that?" And using his hand like a knife, he seperated his feet.
Then, it occured to me. A couple months ago, Harry was watching Oprah with me and there was a segment about a Peruvian baby who had a congenital deformation where her legs and feet were fused together, thus euphemizing the condition "mermaid syndrome". There were images of operations and some of the surgery. Harry asked many questions about this and thereafter inspected the legs and feet of a couple of babies to make sure their legs were not "stuck together". (Also some weird explaining ensued to the parents). And this is what surgery meant to Harry.

"No they are having their testicles removed"

And that was the answer he was satisfied with.

Oh, and some news on the employment front....I have a longer contract now. I am an officially an "Instructional Designer". Sounds sexy, doesn't it? I am designing a security awareness course for a huge company. A company that should be worried about security. (And I'll leave it at that.)


hotboy said...

Was it a woman, I wonder, who invented the expresion "getting fixed"? They certainly wouldn't be hot boys after that! Hotboy

MC Etcher said...

Once again I am impressed with your dedication to answering every question.

I want kids! Now would be good. Maybe I should mention that to my wife...

Ooh, the job sounds cool.

Arwen said...

My husband just got a vasectomy...try explaining this to to your daughter about your husband...ugh.
I have been meaning to ask you: do you think dharma and serenity are similar? I have been talking with a good friend about this and I think in some ways it is and she doesn't think so. (yes, I am still thinking about scrubbing toilets).