Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Happy Blog Day to Me...

I'm all for sentimentality...(remember the Christmas season?) so lets get on with the celebration! Yes, it has been twelve months and 2 days since I embarked on the great blogging adventure. And, yes - the trend is all it is marketed to be. Well...I don't need to preach to the converted now do I? Alrighty, commence all Happy Blog Day Festivities!!

This means, today is the day for all you secret and anonymous readers to out yourself and publically admit that you donate minutes of your busy day to share my always ponderous blather.
Thats right. Happy Blog day also involves a ritual revelation. What's a celeration without a bit of the esoteric thrown on the side? So pop over, say hi. That's all.

Now for the serious part. (The fun part is next). As I read my first couple posts, I realized that I have come to some conclusions I had hoped to bring some closure to. As I type this, I am almost certain that I will be offered no contracts in the fall, thus forcing myself to ask some more questions. Last year, I was desperately trying to work out whether a PhD was really on my horizons. I have much at stake here - most importantly my time...time that I was not sure I wanted to give over to the academy at the expense of my kids. I am also spoiled in the sense that I have been able to do meaningful work for the past 8 years. I get paid to talk about really cool ideas. Like the most of the planet, I get seduced in complaining about the bullshit that goes on with every job - office politics, power games, situations involving domination and subordination. Up until last year, my department operated very democratically and ethically. I was invited to be an integral part of the department, was privy to important decisions being made and my opinions were taken seriously. My role in the department was also honored and respected. So, given these circumstances, who would not want to continue their studies to join the round table and be able to talk about really cool ideas on a full time basis?

When the leadership and power relations shifted in my department all that changed. I was shut out of everything involving the department. People were making decisions, involving me, which I have heard from third parties. Much of the politicking in the department is nonsensical. And, I have learned of the lastest move, which will result in my unemployment. The reason? It's not personal. Certain faculty members (in my department and beyond) think that some part-time faculty have been around for too long and need to be let go. Why? I have not yet heard of a rationale that is just and makes sense. So thoughts returned about the Phd.

And eventually, I arrived at the point where I became clear that this is not part of my path. Sometimes the desire to do my Phd was so great so that I did not have to bear the embarassment and shame of only having an M.A. (And trust me, people throw around the importance of their three letters like it were the next level above human). I figured I would only be taken seriously and respected both as a scholar and a teacher if I were on the same playing field. In otherwords, I would be pursuing the degree to prove that I am a worthy of it. And frankly, I don't really think that is the right reason to do a Phd. I'm positive I don't want to embark on such a pursuit for similar reasons why people get boob jobs and hair plugs. I can save myself a whole lot of time, money and energy filling that need in other ways (Or realizing that its only a fictional need, since things are okay just the way they are).

So, chapter 2 and year two of The Big Picture will be as exciting. With all that internal mess sorted out, what is next? You know, I really don't know....and part of me is scared shitless about thus uncertainty, while another part of me is up for the thrill.

Okay. Now on to the fun part.

My top three favorite posts of the year:

And the internet's favorite post is HERE

So excuse me I have a full bottle of champagne to drain. Hic!

Happy Blog Day to Meeeeeee......

9 comments:

Eric said...

Happy first blog anniversary! You have been blogging for 1 year, and during this time, I have blogged 1 time...Is this an amazing coincidence, or what?

Kim said...

Happy Blog Day! Yes!! I loved the Orange Pants post too. My Happy Blog Day is coming up soon too...because after I got addicted to starting my day with you, I started one too.

Happy Blog Day. I hope the coming year is rewarding, fun and full of exciting surprises.

MC Etcher said...

Yay! Congratulations! Keep up the great work.

robmcj said...

Happy Birthday Heather. I went through something similar a long time ago when I was squeezed out of my teaching job at a Scottish university because I wasn't doing enough research. Wasn't doing any actually. In hindsight, they did me a favour.

You seem to be reacting much more positively than I did. Well done.

hotboy said...

I wrote a comment here! I did! Where did it go? Hotboy. p.s. is this one of them quantum comments?

McSwain said...

Happy belated blog day, and may this year bring wonderful and happy blog fodder to you!

Mary P. said...

Happy Anniversary!

Kato said...

Woohoo, a Blogiversary!

Ahh Corpse Porn, I remember it fondly.

Beth said...

happy blog day, heather!! (sorry i'm a little late)