Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Retcharama Festival...Get your Tickets Here!

Step right up folks! Under the big top tonight...

I've been hearing nothing but the Avian flu on the radio as of late. And there is nothing more annoying than the maufacturing of a fear to hide some other social problem...take for instance the trials and tribulations of a Hapless mother forced to clean up vomit for the second day in a row. Now that is a REAL issue. Today was Harry's turn. He woke me up in the middle of the night to let me know that he was not feeling very good. I spent the rest of the night plotting and scheming about what I was going to do about my class. The university has made it very clear that missing school is not cool. I have arranged with other like minded teachers to pick up a class or two when I have been in a bind before. This year, no one seems to be available - except the Chair of my dept. And >>>censored for obvious reasons<<<< so, now you can imagine why I was up all night fretting and stressing.

In the morning, Harry seemed okay. Not okay enough to send to school, but definatley okay enough to tag with me for an hour. I got Owen and Aidan ready and had to actually lie to Owen about Harry going to school. Owen has faked out his teachers in the past about being sick, just so he could get a day off like his brother, so I wanted to cover all bases. Harry and I came home, he pillaged his lunchbox and I prepared for class. We piled in the van and were off. At school, he turned three shades of grey before he went green and hurled in the garbage can in the Part Time faculty office. Either he barfed with such equisite grace that no one noticed, or everyone pretended to ignore what was going on. I am almost convinced it was the former, so 10 minutes before class I marched over to the Academic Vice-President's office to formally cancel my class. And who should I bump into in the quad? The Academic Vice Presidentm in the flesh of course. (I think this position is also known as a provost). Ordinarily, I would be thrilled to run into him, because he is also aware of my recent plight with my recently turned weird department, and any chance I get to show that yes, I am a human being and not just a position to be filled - I'll take. So, there was a warm and friendly hello, a hand-shake and the noticing of my little green boy. Awkward moment. I stammered and sputtered and explained that I was on my way over to his office to let his secretary know that I was cancelling class because he just kecked in the Part-time faculty office...and don't worry there was no mess....

Yeah, the mother of ALL awkward moments. So, not only did I feel terribly guilty about cancelling another class, but guilty that I dragged my very sick little boy to school. Us single moms never catch a break. And if we are going to catch anything, its going to be the flu.

Owen is a ticking flu time bomb. I think I had it myself. I must say, its a rather mild form - the kids seem to be over it in 12 hours. Aidan woke up this morning and the first thing he said (with elated exuberance at that) hee-ree-ul! Which when you turn on your nifty Aidan translation machine, means "cereal". I had a wholloping migraine all day - which I think was triggered by this bug (Harry had been complaining of a headache...or rather he said after a long nap that his head no longer hurt him). So after pillaging the family medicine cabinet, I decided that 2 Naproxen was better than 4 tylenol...and achieved the face-numbing euphoria that usually only a high dosage of codeine will induce. So, I am feeling better - and ready to start homework anytime.

Notes from Barffest 05... to be continued...I am sure!!

7 comments:

MC Etcher said...

Hope all of you are feeling better soon!

Eric said...

Hey! Those naproxins belonged to me!!!

On a serious note, I hope things get better for the whole gang. I'll be home in six days to help out. (Just at about the same time as Hurricane Wilma when it goes up the Eastern Coast...)

In the mean time, you're still Wonder Mommy. I'm glad the kids have such a great Mom around when they need care and attention. Take care.

Heather said...

Listen buddy...those naproxens were my ticket to sanity.

And I am afraid you were not here to watch the new sofa get slimed AGAIN.

2 rolls paper towel
1 bottle Mr Clean Disinfectant
1 bottle febreze
5 loads laundry
2 naproxens
= FUCKING INSANITY

Susan said...

Heather, I wish I lived three doors down and could bring you chicken soup and Sprite and whatever else it was my mother served for the flu and take the healthy kids outside to play and . . .

I'm so sorry. Thank god for the naproxin.

hotboy said...

Okay? Have you got a hut? I've had to give mine to some guy from Malawi. You haven't got enough people. I wouldn't do anything in the hut, but the kids would come and bother me all the time. That's all you need. A distracting yogi for ra kids! A return plane fare, we negotiate the drink and drugs alowance, you take all the spin-offs ... like all your chums wanting to ask me questions.Other than that, it is hard work. You need more people! Hotboy

Mary P. said...

No guilt necessary - you were juggling your competing roles as only a solo parent can juggle. It was a calculated risk, and the odds swerved away from you is all. In fact, him barfing (in the PT faculty office, no less, lol) just proved what a dedicated professional you are. The fact that you then went home, proves your dedicated mother-ness. So there.

robmcj said...

Hi Heather, I enjoyed your post, at times like this I just feel guilty/relieved to be childless.