Monday, June 27, 2005

Day 1 Saturday

(I am going to transcribe my journal from my meditation retreat in the following posts...)

Arrival at Dorje Denma Ling. Just in time for supper - curried carrot soup, fresh cucumber salad with dill, homemade brown bread. Nothing to disappoint. The program is small with 8 participants - thus more intimate - which is going to be weird since we will be spending time not talking to one another. I suppose that tension will come in handy.

Another small surprise is that I am staying in a private room in the residence - Gyatso Lodge. I was expecting to be in a tent, so the anticipation for some level of discomfort was pleasantly shattered with a room, a closet, a bed, a pillow and a bathroom just down the hall. Last year I slept in a tent - and with the cold and rainy weather I expected to be cold and damp tonight. I am quite cosy here as I write this by lamp light. The silence is positively deafening. I can hear my own ears ringing in the first time in months.

It's funny, but I come here with the craving to socialize, but the program encourages contemplation and the settling of the discursive mind. Everyone else seems to catch that drift. Its merely 9pm and not a soul stirs. Its like slowing down from 120km/hr to 20 in 5 seconds. What a shock. I haven't even shut my door yet. I am not sure whether I am trying to invite people in or prevent myself from being totally alone.

One last thing - I come here with some hesitation (some...). Spending a majority of my time with no one else but me and no other distractions - is daunting to me. I am not sitting here reading whatever I want, blogging or finding other absorbing distractions. And all of a sudden things seem lonely and empty. But oh how the stillness is precious!!!

Wow...turning a page in this journal echoes in here.

I am slightly scared of what I am going to confront this week. Its just me...but we all have our shit. And sitting in meditation seems to encourage the shit to hit the fan. I need a mental diaper.

And thus is my introduction to A Week of Pure Sitting


Kim said...

WOW! Now, the writer in me is thinking that this would make some really cool opening to some sort of a novel. I love how you've described the place. I can feel how still it is!

hotboy said...

Really looking forward to reading abouty this retreat! Hotboy