Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Sounds suspiciously like a map doesn't it?

Blogarama has a nice little article entitled:

The Top Ten Mistakes to Avoid When Blogging

Sounds suspiciously like a map doesn't it? Let's deconstruct...shall we?

No. 1 - No Theme to Your Blog

Well come on! I've settled on exploring life without a map. So is the themeless blog actually a theme? This may be the same as Form is emptiness, Emptiness also is form, In my favorite sutra
The Prajnaparamita

No. 2 - Unexplained Time Gaps in Your Blog

This is a blog, not The Real World. I'm inviting you into my life right? Don't I get to make the rules here? Rules make me itch. I'm living without maps here right? Besides, isn't there something alluring about being myterious? I am not sure if anyone really wants to know "I haven't been writing because all my children have virulent diarrhea and I've been mopping up foul runny shit for the past 24 hours?" Well some of you may...and after my extra long diatrible on corpse porn, I thought I'd give you guys a break on the raunch factor for a while.

No. 3 - Blogging About Your Workplace Without Permission

Okay, this is a rule I can live with. I have no intentions of discussing the soapoperaesqueness of my department - although it would be wildly entertaining. These people have families...and heck...I'm too chickenshit. I also would love to lambaste my students...but I'm quite aware that is professional suicide too. Dooce demonstrates the perils of Blogging about Work -- which I have read her comments and found nothing worth being fired over in the first place. I have a big fat institution behind me, casting a long and dark shadow. They care very deeply about their reputation and I have no intentions of fucking with that. However, if I worked for a telemarketing would be no holds barred.

No. 4 - Straying Too Far From Your Blog's Theme

Sounds like map talk doesnt it? Be very afraid! I will stray thither and dither and presto! I will conform to rule #1

No. 5 - Involvement in Blogging Spam

This one is not very fun to pick apart. I think I can live with this rule. And unless I start making some cash, you will not be inundated with links for penis enlargers, diet pills and letters from Nigerian royalty. I may promote friends in the biz. Thats what friends and blogs are for...right?

No. 6 - Ignoring Comments Posted to Your Blog

Point Taken. I'm inherently self centred, so it will take a bit of effort on my behalf. I figure that I am just getting started - and my wide readership will offer me a little leeway on this matter. While we are on the topic, I did want to thank Kato and Litany for acknowledging yesterday's spew on Corpse Porn. Fundamentally I feel it's just wrong to be the only one laughing at my own jokes. So, now I am not and I can feel "normal" once again.

No. 7 - Posting Libelous Material on Your Blog

Oh here we go again. More rules. Well, most of what I intend on writing is about me. So I have every intention of offending ever fibre of my own being. I'm not interested in offending the rest of the world. Others can do a much better job than I. Do you suppose I will get in big doo-doo about being snarky with Blogarama's 10 rules? Where do we draw the line between interpretation and libel? There must be a blog about that.

No. 8 - Using Too Much Insider or Regional Talk

Isn't that what blogging is about...creating our own little "in" group? I don't suppose anyone is really going to care if I say "toque" "double double" or "eh?" If I say eh...You'll know what I mean eh? Canadian slang is so much fun! It stumps all the 'mericans.

No. 9 - Writing Way Too Much

I'm offended by Rule #9. What qualifies as too much? Too much for who? If it is not too much for me, then if logic follows, it isn't too much for people who actually want to read my stuff. This is a wider problem with the internet, in my informed and snotty opinion. Everything is in clips, snippets and something that can be easily read on a monitor without scrolling. I think the scroll factor determines "too much". If we want to move beyond banal superficiality which everyone seems to whine about in this era of globalization and technocracy, then lets collectively break rule #9 and unfetter ourselves out own self imposed oppression! I'm of the camp that thinks spewage ought to have substance.

No. 10 - Not Realizing That the Internet Has a Permanent Memory

I almost fell out of my seat after I read this one. What kind of drugs is this guy on anyway? There is enough dead-link litter on the WWW to fill a server the size of 2001's Monolith. Permanence is an illusion (see Link to the Prajnaparamita). Yet, karma is an operative energy and things will come back and haunt you.


dawatcher said...

I agree with you in virtually every point!

But in some scary ways, the internet does have at least a semi-permanent memory.

Example: If you make a change to a post you made last week, (say changing someone's name that you mentioned from 'Roger' to just 'R'), so that Roger or Roger's friends are less likely to stumble across the post -

The post has been 'cached' by Google and any number of other search engines. So if you search using blog-scanning web sites, you'll discover the original, cached version is found, (where you talk about Roger's Tiny Equipment) and can still be read.

I have not tested to see how long this cache lasts, but this is something to be aware of when posting blog entries.

It would be a good idea to include such information in a Blogging FAQ, that folks would read before beginning their blogging lifestyle.

Robin said...

I think a lot of these rules are most applicable to people who keep "professional" blogs. I mean come on--if I write about my life, how am I supposed to put a theme on that? And um, that thing about mopping up the diarrhea, that sucks--(gag)--I hope they feel better :)

Kato said...

Those guidelines are hit or miss. I tend to agree with your analysis.

And, you're welcome, thanks for the shout out. How could I not read an article entitled "Corpse Porn". I just wonder what I was Googling to come across it... :)