Side Effects

I think I mentioned briefly that I quit smoking at the beginning of January. I've been using the nicotine patch, and so far, I have not been smoking. I've replaced the habit with copious amounts of tea. Vanilla black tea in the morning, a cup of white pear tea, carob chai, in the evening I switch to herbal - cinnamon, cherry, peach, raspberry, mandarin..As I read the program booklet with the patch, I notice that "vivid dreams" are a common side effect. I have not rented a movie since I quit. Wow. It's amazing what your consciousness throws at you, randomly, but able to piece it together in a mind bending narrative. There was the dream when I was breastfeeding a cat, or the one where I took the car trip to Vancouver and stopped for a while in Calgary. I was in the car with a couple of guys I used to party with when I was in university, and Aidan. Last night I was walking along a beautiful beach, pulling Aidan in a sled, on the way to the store, and I stopped and chatted with Ben Affleck and Jennifer. Sometimes the dreams, can be unsettling. I had worms...in my scalp, or the time when the taliban attacked Nova Scotia. The side-effects could be far worse, say itchy feet.

Most of you will be very encouraging and glad that I've taken this step for the 5th or the 6th time. I hope this is the last time. I will say, smoking is a companion I will sorely miss, despite the horrible ramifications. There is nothing better than a warm cup of coffee and lighting up, inhaling languidly and taking a sip. Ahh. There is nothing better than pulling your hair out in stress, and lighting up. I'm not going to deny my love affair with smoking. Some love affairs, as we all know, no matter how seductive, are just plain old bad for you.

I can't say I spent a lot of money a month smoking. 50 dollars maybe? But what I noticed, is that I don't need to go to the store. When I went to buy smokes, I'd usually buy other things, that I did not necessarily need. So, this is where I am noticing my cost savings. So, in celebration, I bought some new shoes. Really cute Mary Jane's with a wedge heel. These are side effects, I like to manage.