So, I guess you are wondering what happened to me? Well, I started working, as a research consultant, on a project which I know absolutely nothing about. It really is all about research. Its a short gig, but I guess thats how the business works.
I keep reminding myself of a helpful bit of advice that I offered to Arwen over at Anthropologist for Corporate America. I've learned that when you give someone advice, be prepared to stand by what you say. I remembered a quote from a Thai Theravadan monk named Achaan Chaa, who said there was even dharma in cleaning toilets. I am digging deep and struggling with this. Especially after leaving the teaching gig. Nothing can possibly measure up, could it? I need to reposition myself in such a way in order to make sense of where I am at and see that it really is dharma, without getting all esoteric and flaky about it. Anyway. Guess that keeps things infinetly interesting for me. Its all about imposing that grand "?" everywhere.
In the meantime, my landscape is tinted with loss, and nostalgia. Leave it to me, to fret with a very big decision about teaching and working in the situation where I was working, and choose to leave it behind me, or give it a break (I don't think I was even clear about what that space would mean). Coming to that decision was very important, and it was very satisfying THAT I did it...I am becoming ever so clear on what I would lose too. There is stuff I don't miss...so at least I feel secure that I am not being pie in the sky with tendacies to overly romanticize the past. Good god.
So that is where it is at. Vaguely. My spider senses tell me that its in my best interest to practice "discretion". I don't need being dooced on my fourth day at work!
16 hours ago