Saturday, July 30, 2005

There is a new reader among us

I'd like everyone to say "hi" to my mom, who has just informed me that she is reading my blog.

My husband ordered a new fangled computer for her, which arrived last week. The previous incarnation was purchased in 1999 and trudged the internet via a dial-up modem. No wonder using the computer became a chore. Anyway, so she has a spanking new computer AND DSL. So what does hubby do when he sets it up? He gives her the link to my blog, and then tells me. When he did, I panicked. Yes mom, I panicked. I had to go through every entry that I ever wrote (in my head, mind you) and ask myself if it was Parent Certified. (None of my deepest darkest secrets have yet been revealed. Phew!!)

So she comes to pick up Owen for the weekend, and tells me she's read it, and then says

"What ever happened to my little girl who whispered 'excuse me'?"
"Huh?" I am not following the conversation. There is no mention of my clever and cheeky writing, no mention of my wit or brilliance, no mention of trying to break out professionally, or saying she sent the link to absolutely everyone she knows in a moment of parental pride. Nope. Just this question...what the heck?
"You said the word FART for everyone on the internet to read".

Apparently when I was a little girl I was well trained and would say "excuse me" after every toot, regardless if there was an audience.

Oh Well. Times have changed.

I like to tease my mom...


fart fart farty fart and POOP, crap, dump and shit.

how about FUCK?


There. I use those words, albeit sparingly. It's okay mom, you can put your eyes back in your sockets. You have survived the blog test. Permission to read on.

And leave a comment...(yes you ma)

10 comments:

hotboy said...

I've written unpublishable books, plays and short stories (2) for decades and I've never had to stoop to language like that! You should be ashamed! If your poor mom falls off the computer seat and breaks her neck on reading them, what'll you do then, eh? (apart from inherit some stuff!)Hotboy

Mary P. said...

I keep two blogs. One for my personal entertainment (which you read), and one for my clients, in which I never, ever use words like shit, snot, crap, (even though I deal with them on a daily basis), or make mention of vulgar body parts (breast, belly, ass, or worse), or swear in even the teeniest, mildest way. That's the one my mother reads...

Kim said...

So...where's mom's comment? Mine would have just died with all those words at the end! I hope yours posts soon so we know she didn't have a heart attack :-)

robmcj said...

Hi to heather's mum. If you think this blog is rude, you are welcome to visit my blog, where all rudeness is merely implied.

robmcj said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Terry said...

Hi Heather's mum!

Mom said...

Heather!Heather!Heather! nothing surprises me anymore.Infact its much more informative than watching CNN. Ya know if I were to write a blog it would probably shock the socks right off ya!!!!

MC Etcher said...

The blue line! It haunts my dreams!!

Help me!

You could just remove it... It's not a load bearing line, is it?

:o)

robmcj said...

I had parents like that. You score 99% in an exam, and they ask why you lost the 1%.

Let me know if you want me to post some Scots swear words in time for your mother's visit to my blog.

robmcj said...

Don't believe Hotboy, his books are riddled with expletives, otherwise they wouldn't sell in Scotland.

Call your mother's bluff, encourage her to start her own blog.